Six years ago, Cornell University gerontologist Karl Pillemer had an idea: to ask the oldest Americans – the people who have been called the “Greatest Generation” for their practical advice for solving life’s major challenges. Pillemer had earlier conducted a number of studies on senior living, so it was natural that he targeted senior living communities for many of his respondents. A research partnership with Brookdale Senior Living, in particular, provided many interviewees for the project. The project as a result explored the advice of seniors on how to age fearlessly and well. The lessons offered in the book cast old age in a new light from a senior’s perspective.
One surprising finding is the generally positive view the 1200 respondents in the study hold about old age. A typical response came from an 81-year old man: “Embrace it. You still enjoy life, and there’s still purpose in your life. A 94-year old woman suggested: “My advice about growing old? I’d tell them to find the magic.” Old age is very different from what seniors anticipated – and it vastly exceeds their expectations. People felt freer to pursue interests and clearer about their life goals and how best to spend their time. Many described their life after 70 as a quest or an adventure. Overall, seniors interviewed for the book offer this lesson: The time young people spend worrying about aging is truly wasted, because it’s likely to be much better than they expect.
When asked about how people can help insure a positive and enjoyable old age, there was remarkable consensus on one point: The need to maintain strong social connections and to engage in meaningful roles as we age. The book confirms earlier research that this kind of social connectedness helps promote psychological and physical health in later life. But beginning in late middle age, people struggle to remain engaged in relationships and productive roles, as life transitions such as retirement, widowhood, and health problems occur.
Respondents in the study recommended that starting around age 60, everyone needs to become aware of the possibility of becoming isolated and take steps to stay engaged. They suggest that more introverted people should “learn to be social” in their 70s and beyond, actively seeking out new relationships to replace ones that are lost. They also endorse taking advantage of volunteer and educational opportunities. Lifelong learning was especially endorsed by the oldest Americans; indeed, a frequent recommendation was “stay curious.”
Many seniors also included the following lesson for aging: Plan carefully for where you will live in old age. Based on their own experience and those of parents and peers, they counsel younger people to begin to think about living arrangements when they are still active and healthy – both to increase their options for where they can live, but also to reduce responsibility and anxiety on the part of their children. As part of this lesson, a number specifically recommended considering a move to a senior living community. The seniors noted that some people unnecessarily suffer with insecurity, isolation, and inconvenience to stay in their homes, even though the benefits of senior living would be enormous.
Around 150 of Pillemer’s respondents lived in senior living communities of some kind. And, with very few exceptions, they described the move to that community as one of the best decisions of their lives. Many were reluctant initially. They found, however, that being in a more supported environment not only didn’t restrict their freedom, but instead actually allowed them more freedom to engage in meaningful activities and relationships. The move to a senior living community was seen by many as a significant opening of opportunities, while also accommodating limitations that had developed over the course of growing old.
Pillemer is continuing his studies of the practical wisdom of older people (called the Cornell Legacy Project) and has established a web site where elders can submit their lessons for living. An overarching goal of this continued work is to address the need for a more positive and less problem-focused view of later life, seeing it as a stage of growth and new opportunity. One goal is to conduct outreach to elder service providers about engaging their residents or clients as “advice givers” to younger people. Further information is available on the Cornell Legacy Project web site.
To read complete details about the research, you may also read a copy of his book 30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans, published by Hudson Street Press. It is available for purchase on Amazon.com.
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